A woman who recently joined my Silver Sneakers strength training class is a model of the first-time reluctant exerciser. Her feisty and slightly aggressive personality masks an insecurity about being there, her unease using the equipment – weights, tubes and balls – her lack of coordination when we do the aerobic warm-up, and her fitting in.

But what do I know? I know how important it is to announce to the class that we have a new participant. To get her talking to other class members. To encourage her during the water break by commenting on her good energy today. To suggest as I size up her strength quotient that she use slightly heavier weights to do her bicep curls because I know she can achieve this, that it will excite and motivate her.

The next week she’s changed her hairstyle, got a new t-shirt and has a spring in her step. She wants to know if she should try the treadmill. I comment to a third member that this new member is getting healthier by the minute and I can see positive changes already. The newbie beams and says “really?” and I say yes, really.

In the Members4ever system, this woman would be classified as a ‘B’. (To be more precise she’s a ‘B26256′, and if you are curious as to what that is, delve deeper into the system. It’s PDE.)

But she’s not just a lightweight ‘B.’ She is a heavyweight contender ‘B’ who wants and needs help. Your club, your welcoming fitness arms are exactly what she is looking for. She is a sponge who knows she doesn’t know, has no clue what her options are, has pain with her weight struggle and a deep need for social contact and legitimization and you are removing that pain every single time she enters your gym.

Or are you? Do you really understand how much you affect a member’s well-being when they walk through your door? When you’re training or teaching them? When they’re walking around, getting some water or something to eat? Do you see this person as a signature on a form, or as a vital member with bones, muscles, blood and heart who mustered real courage to sign up and is depending on you?

To effect real change, take a step back Jack from all your fitness knowledge and walk a couple of blocks in this member’s unfit shoes. Because it is this member, this human, this heavyweight ‘B’ who represents most people in this country. And they need your help.

Anne Etra writes about fitness, food, leadership and other good stuff at www.etrawords.com. She’s been a fitness pro for ten years.